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I don’t know how to live like this...

Started by Allymc126 on 06/19/2018 12:19pm

How do you find the strength to live in pain? I found out i had scoliosis at age 14, wore brace for 2 yrs, it was 49* curve in lumbar and another smaller curve in thoracic. Ok... pain was minimal until I was in mud 20’s and started having lots of aching type pain but I dealt with it. At 40, it became to where it affected legs and toes, hips etc. I tried PT, tens unit, epidural shots, etc etc. finally was sent to neuro for spinal surgery. Last June he did 4 levels and fused L2-L5 and told me I had severe stenosis and the other words idk right now. Ok after surgery I felt better slowly and could walk almost half a block ( huge bc before i would fall) well now, 12 months out I am in constant muserabje pain. My toes feel like rubber bands are in them, my back feels like someone is squeezing the hell of it and i sleep in tears. I take nothing for pain except Advil and gabapentin bc dr says i have to learn to live with it. He has a myleogram scheduled for next Monday. I hated this before bc it was so painful but i know i gotta get answers. My l5-s1 looked fine and he says my symptoms sound like that area. I’m so confused and just want to quit hurting. I am not gonna kill myself bc i have a 6 yr old and grands to live for but ... well, i can understand people wanting to die over pain. Nobody knows how bad it is and it’s embarrassing to try to walk and hurt and limp and stumble. My poor family teases me and i know they mean well but it’s awful. Just awful. Please give me advice as to how you all handle this life. I wish i could go back and have the scoliosis fixed at 16 but my parents refused to allow it to be done. Thank you all for help. I’m truly so depressed and scared.

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1 Response


Allymc126, thank you for sharing your story with us. We are so incredibly sorry to read about the pain you're going through and have endured for so long.

We are not medical professionals, so we cannot offer you any advice from that standpoint. However, we wonder if meeting with another spine specialist is worthwhile. Do you feel like your current doctor is sympathetic to what you're going through? If not, we'd like to share our doctor finder tool so you can browse spine specialists near you who may offer an alternative perspective on your pain: https://www.spineuniverse.com/locate/spe...

Have you explored our Chronic Pain Center? This link ( Chronic Pain Center ) connects you to our library of content on this area, and we think you'll be interested in reading it. It delves into the complex science of chronic pain and treatments you may not have yet considered. It also details the mental and emotional nature of chronic pain, which requires its own set of therapies.

Allymc126, we have read posts like yours--people who live in pain and wonder how they can endure another day of it. You are not alone, and we are grateful you reached out to our Community because we know someone is out there who relates to you. People here understand what you're going through, and we hope others reading your post will share what has eased their pain. We believe there is an answer for you. Reaching out to other medical professionals may be a good start.

We wish you the very best. Keep us posted on how you're doing.